Where the heart is...

Til death do us part

Was the promise in our hearts
But, now
I've lost sight of the finishing mark
Times past to return to the start

My love for you
For all its worth
Its beauty entombed in hurt

I could release it all in a flash
But not you, you are my present, my future and my past
So I continue to hide behind this mask
Though I understand I've taken on a impossible task
Prize of platinum
Shielded in brass

Sending my heart to you
Every single day
With no directions I'll always find my way

Home is where the heart is
That is what they say.

Angeli Ramirez

Lover's wish

Yesterday, Tomorrow,  Today the same

Fed up with these same old games

It's time to embrace change.

Shy spark, evolving into a vibrant flame.

Dreaming dreams
Lovers caress
I'll runaway with you.
Only you. A captain and some crew
We'll sail to the moon

Heart flutters beneath my breast
Dare i impress?

In my thoughts i lay across your chest
Telling you stories at your request :)

Play a memory upon my bed
Chase your lips round my head

It's those eyes
They bind me well
Trap me in this beautiful hell

No one asks,  I'll never tell
This melody in my soul
Ringing like a bell

Sweet Agony
This is what you impart to me
Weakness plain to see

Perfect nightmare,  tho it seems...

I don't know you
It's true
I met you in my dreams.

Flitting by my conscience,  bitter sweet fantasy.

All i own is reality
It's my abiding city
It's hold,  anchors me

Mystery,  Seduction
Energy makes her play
All common sense,  good intentions sway
Freedom of choice
Will you leave,  or will you stay?
Be warned,  it's a heavy price we'll pay...

1 moment,  grasping tight
1 leap,  just one night
If so much I'll keep

I'll always have time,  if even only while i sleep.

Angeli Ramirez

Deciding

Decisions; wrapped in vision

Warped by reality

Blurring lines of morale; principality

Yet I feel.

The silkiness of your lips against mine
And for countless moments I'm lost in time

Though I'm aware the punishment will suit the crime

Our souls have stepped over oceans to bind

And, loving you.

Whether wrong or right

Is my only comfort through my lonely nights

You will never see the tears that run untamed

To fill my sea of blame

Thoughts of you
Memories of rain
Skim across my brain

Leaving behind a path of flames

As the beat of your heart sings my name

Every touch... Skin to skin

Something melts within.

Still, I must be precise

The cost...a heart
The payment... A life.

Decisions, decisions.

Angeli Ramirez

Cracked.

I've hidden the desires in my
heart

As I wish upon the weightless dark

Maybe its not the beginning of the end, but its a finish to a start .

You
Me

A world between
A life apart.

Contemplating the stars that burn across the sky
Forgetting every promise
Still remembering every lie

Yet, I do what I've always done
I continue to try

Hiding from the damning whispers
Of the tears I cry

Against me all the odds are stacked
Cards drawn can't be returned to the pack
Even then, I'm too weak to fight back

Its our curse
In everything there is a crack
Our lose is our win
Because without fractured walls
How would the light get in?

Angeli Ramirez

Parting play

Forgotten, Unwanted,  Rejected
Caring,  Hurting,  Reflecting

Love,  Wanted,  Protected

Lied,  Used,  Dejected

Thief!  You've stolen my heart

From my affection then did you depart.

Stand in for a tragic role
Your deceit has taken it's toll
How i try to be bold
Still I am cold
Promises of Gold
Fulfilment of dust
Forgetting you now is a must
Loving you,  turned out to be a real bust :/

Angeli Ramirez

Old friends

Hi there,

I knew you once
Though i can't remember now
I recognize your energy
Though I don't know how
When was it that I knew you??

Oh yes, a long time ago
You were young and care free
Beautiful and daring
Too blind to see

As you skipped around love
You ran into me
And gazed with not fear but curiosity

I remember it well
Though it was so many lives before

I was amazed at your innocence
So on you I had pity
This favour I would do

A warning I imparted
Turn back my darling
Save your common sense

Step beyond these gates
It will be to your end.

Alas loves seductions was a call you had to heed

I warned you
That your soul would bleed
Lusts sweet melody called to you
There was nothing more I could do

I see now that you've returned
From loves path; you've been burned

I'm afraid its a little too late
As you see i told you
Love always claims its sacrifice

You had to pay its price

I could have told you what it would cost

But in your dewy eyes
I saw you were already lost

Well now, here you are...
For love your soul you did sell
Returned an empty shell
To join me in this hell

Hello old friend, I told you... I know you well.

Angeli Ramirez

Shape of my heart

Falling into you

Falling from truth

The way you look at me
The blind can see
I'm better as we

A smile in my heart
From the moment we met
Its so hard to be apart

In a second you've become my lover, my soldier, my best friend

Perfect beginnings
For a perfect end

These tears that stain my pillows, my bed
As thoughts of you swim through my head
The pain I feel
Outside your arms
Is constant cause for alarm 

Afraid of falling
Terrified I've fell
Still, unable to stop myself

My moments with you are so far from real
Yet, they r the only moments I feel.

No promises
No vows

All of me
All of you
Right here
Right now

Alone with you
I'm easily lost in the crowd

In your eyes I gladly drown
Over and over again

If they could see the seconds we share

If the words across my heart were laid bare

If they only knew the name behind my flowing tears

If only they could pull across the curtain of my soul

They would know I won't run

I've found the one

I'm quitting the race

If eyes could see my heart,
They'd see your face.

Angeli Ramirez

Changed

Missing hours

Counting days

Holding too tightly to the moments that are ours

Thinking words that cannot be said
Making well, of light touches instead

Your hand in mine
There is no way to describe
The emotions tumbling inside
I've become a master at disguise

Living around this forbidden desire
Heart and soul; against my mind they conspire

Falling into you

Falling from truth

Wishing everything different
Though it makes no sense

Loving every moment
Hell or heaven sent

But each second spent
Is like a drug in my veins
High on your presence

Delirious from you're essence
Beautiful Agony;

You've finally found you're way to me

A life time too late it seems
Now that we can never be

Or, maybe I've been blinded by moral conformity

No matter the cause, the facts remain
Without you, my heart barley beats
And there is a numbness in my brain 
Every thought is labeled with your face, your voice, your name

Left or right...
In just one night
You stepped into my life
And I'm everything but the same.

Angeli Ramirez

Beautiful lies

Foolish delusions

Unwelcome intrusions

Has the beat that's thrummed in my heart
Been a lie from the start

In naivety I play the leading part

Fools gold
Clay polished in platinum
Coal dressed as diamonds

The more I search
The more I find
Duplicates of one kind

No originality
No value for the mind

Tired of wasting precious time

Is there a love divine?

Angeli Ramirez

Rose tinted

A kaleidescope of emotions dance across my senses

No way to vent it;

Guilty treasures
Forbidden pleasures

Candy sweet kisses
Impossible wishes

Days that feel like years
Betrayed by quite tears

Lulling me into blessed slumber
Barrage of feelings pulling me under

Somehow I've let you in
Damning myself to eternal sin

Arms around me
Lost in a dream
Of warm skin and ice cream

Dominating my waking thoughts
Even asleep, I remain caught

Heart thundering in my ears
Terrified to stand before my fears

Still I've taken the leap
I have no wings
I'm not a raven or a dove

Yet fly I must

I think I've fallen in love.

Angeli Ramirez

Heart of steel

Heart beats fast

As the steel barrel rests against her skin

She breaths a breathe
Hoping , praying it will be her last

Finger on the trigger
Rage pulsates through her bones
Its alive, taken on an identity of its own

Making her life its home
So full, yet so alone

Eyes closed she thinks a sweet goodbye
To all the tears still waiting to b cried

A gentle squeeze
Then a bang, and a quiver

All the pain is flowing away,
Carried in a crimson river.

Angeli Ramirez

Hidden hell

Battered mind

Bruised heart

They wage war against each other

It's an epic battle of the wills

I wish they'd both be still

Wrong,  right
Confused I've lost sight

Somewhere in these bloody fields
I've forgotten my dreams
Their voice a lonely echo
Pounding on my memories

How can I be free?

If (it) lives inside me.

Angeli Ramirez

In between time

There are moments when

Time excludes you

And for a beautiful minute

U believe fantasy to be truth

Alive again, are the joys , the tears we once knew

Fervent prayers and glossy wishes

The full extent of youths treasures

First love, true love
Heartbreak , cynic

Time , age

Priceless .
Ageless
Lost in it.

Angeli Ramirez

Dance of repetition

Running running nowhere to go

Wishing wishing there was someone who knows

Anyone who can understand
The pain of a rejected soul

So alone, agony
Never going home

Still holding on refusing to fold
They say great tribulations
A finer character molds

I suppose
I don't know

I'm too numb
Too cold.

Angeli Ramirez

Answering destiny

And they asked me who i loved

I didn't stutter I didn't pale

My answer was vibrant my answer was clear
As it rang through the still air

I loved love.
& now I've failed.

Angeli Ramirez

Confession

Am I afraid?

No... I'm too numb to face the blame

Too broken to feel the pain.

Too enraged to value gain

Too shattered to save

Strike a match
Get lost in its dancing flames
Consider the ultimate trade

Set these memories ablaze.

Angeli Ramirez

The gates of madness

Falling; catch me soon

Running to my doom

Bloody red walls in a white washed room

Hating what I've become
A mess that can't be undone
Fighting for all
Fighting for some
My time has come

Leaving behind these restless thoughts
For futures cannot be bought
A worthy lesson I've been taught

Struggling through these feelings
In this maze I'm caught
Trying to escape
With everything in tact

Grasping the fact there is no turning back.

Angeli Ramirez

Freedom macabre

Hold me in your endless abyss

Take my pain
And grant me bliss

The gift to no longer exist

Cold steel across my wrist

You are the only one who knows my will

To embrace deaths grips.

Unluckiest of slips

What worse gain than failure?

Missing the train of final trips.

Answer my broken wish

Eternal peace
Through your icy kiss.

Death was in her eyes
But a smile on her lips.

Angeli Ramirez

Not us

Forbidden, hidden

Eyes that glisten

A heart that listens

Torment, my only gift
Misery, just one wish
Fulfilling, your lips.

Missing your touch
Running, out of luck

Loud voices
Empty words
Secret thoughts
Too many choices

Falling hard, way too fast
Rekindled, flashes of the past
Truth is, it will not last.

Tempers flare
This thing we share
Is far from clear
But the memories I will hold near.

Your world is for you

No vacancy for two

But, if not us... Then who?

Angeli Ramirez

Sands of admission

Forced into a deadly situation
Pressed to make a murderous decision.

Knives in her heart
Slicing with razor precision

Blind, deaf, dumb and crippled
Empty, void ... Her feelings she's been stripped of.

Broken vessel needing to be filled

Burdened mind crying out to be stilled

Weakness has become her
She is incomplete.

Her strength was a myth
She hides in sleep.

Searching for the clue to tell
How to release her from this hell

Darling, darling
You know well
The pain and doubt
Of the faithless; the devout

Left behind
A world aside
Watching through the hour glass
The racing sands of time

Remembering the vow to never fall

She sees now, she really understood....

Nothing at all.

Angeli Ramirez

Sweet torment

Numbness that has become me

Punishing myself just to feel

Though it beats
My heart has turned steel

Reality becomes a stranger
Completely unreal

Every moment I breathe
Resembles something I've stolen

Peace of mind with holden
Dark rooms
Empty embraces

Cherry gloss
Red lace

None of it can erase

Not one inch replace

The emptiness of a beating heart

That no longer lives.

Angeli Ramirez

Duplicity

Duplicity
Yes, Fantasy

Every day is reality
Obscurity
Uncertainties

Crushing me mercilessly
Under the weight of endless responsibilities

Temptations daring
Subconsciously comparing
The path of forgetting

Not even an option

Losing it all
Recurring destruction

Tampering with my sanity
Pain coursing through my veins,
my constant reminder that nothing remains the same
Forever

Slaving for pleasure
Paid in terror

Walking alone
Aching in my bones

The agony of a million memories
Scraping over my soul

Eternally less than whole

Storm clouds darken on every horizon
Blacking out the sun
Yet the rain does not come

No heat no energy
Withering away

No feeling left
In this hell where days and nights are just gray.

Angeli Ramirez

Lost soul

I cannot find you

Though I am sure a soul so pure could never just end

I'm know you are out there
I keep wishing, hoping as I turn every bend

I scan every face
Checked millions of eyes
Endless search through time
Still I cannot find your mind

I know I'll know you when I find
You
And I know your soul will recognize mine

And you will know
I never gave up
I never stopped trying.

You cannot be replaced
This is the agony I face
So lonely in this place
You were the only one who knew
Understood without question
The truth
Behind my lies
The pain in my eyes.

Angeli Ramirez

Thoughts of a familiar stranger

Innocence of the womb

Destruction through the tomb.

Memories of youth and love in full bloom

Leading to our doom

Shackled in metal
Dancing with the devil
Torment laced treble

Bass thumping through my blood
Music thundering through my veins

Soothes me in the rain
When I'm assaulted by the pain of the thoughts that remain

Letting go of every dream
Smothering every scream
Ice cream and sea breeze

Fill my senses
At times the least expected

I'm caught reflecting
On moments best forgotten

I'm left protecting
A secret unwanted
A love rejected.

Angeli Ramirez

Mind of a broken girl

Fractured, splintered into a million pieces

Feeling the weight of being defeated

Afraid to give in, afraid to go through

Continue to block and counter like a boxer do

But the victories are few

Ink to paper
Blank pages
Empty mind

Searching for words
I cannot find

So potent is the pain inside

Slicing through my very bones
Leaving me icy cold
Tearing up my soul

A thousand people
Still so alone

Vacant walls
Invisible homes

Burning tears no one can see
Aching heart
Known only to me.

Angeli Ramirez

Deserted flower

Feeling too much
Not thinking enough

Drowning in emotion
Lost in the never ending ocean
Fighting commotion
Drifting helplessly

Eyes blurry
Speech slurry

Everything passing in slow motion
Lacking faith; devotion

Tottering on the brink of insanity

Grasping tight to the fading light of humanity

Trailing by the hours
Trembling hands
Can't find the power

To save this broken flower.

Angeli Ramirez

Homeless

Bleeding heart
Broken soul

Lacking self control
Too precarious on this ledge
Tripping over the edge

Spiraling downward
Projecting outward
The illusion of collectiveness
Only to cover the emptiness

Buried just beneath the surface are the secrets, lies and regrets
That shadow her every step

Forcing her to recollect
Who she was
What she's lost
And all she's got left

Staring her in the face
Is the ugly truth
That tears through her bones
She's found no place
She's made no home.

Angeli Ramirez

Saving a life

Listen now
And listen well

To the story her broken heart has to tell

In the depths of her soul
Where her deepest memories dwell

There you will find images, thoughts, words, and smells
Of the one she won't dare forget
Of the only one she'll never regret.

How to save a life ?
Payment of equal price.

Yes. She held the knife
. Bones as cold as ice
She cut out her heart
So it could survive.

She sacrificed her joy
All so love would never die.

Angeli Ramirez

Unwritten love

Emptiness after your kiss
Sweet serenity, watching the waves turn and twist.

Agonizing bliss
Granted by the pressure of your lips
Against my skin
My aching heart, is my only reminder;
That I should never have let you in

Creaky wicker chairs
A chill in the salty air
Tosses my hair
As you're essence I inhale

Yet, I'm trapped behind this veil 
No idea how to cross to the other side
But maybe, just maybe... You are one of those things, that will heal with time.

Sick of these twisting rhymes, that never truly describe
The millions of emotions you kindle inside.

My shattered heart
My vacant soul

Yes, you will always be my story [[Untold]].

Angeli Ramirez

Dear, Darch Angel of Secrets

Darch angel I knew

How I was so enthralled by you
The sheer strength u exuded

Left me deluded

I asked you for your name

You told me they call you pain

The keeper of secrets

Admissions
A wild beast to be caged
only my love could tame

I was your weakness therefore I am to blame

And even then your beautiful deadly nature burned like a flame

You moved with a lethal grace

That stopped my heart
Took my breath away

I asked you for a name

You told me they call you rage

I really didn't care
To me, you were a star
And the world was your stage

I've never felt secure since I've left your side
Fear is the burden I now carry inside

In your arms I could see no danger
I remember when I stumbled upon you
And fell into the eyes of a stranger

So invincible you seemed
Your perfection
You were so surreal
So focused
Always diligent

You were the strength I'd always craved

Never acknowledging failure

Then for you I caved.

I feared your power
I revered your master intelligence.

You are the dark angel you said
You are him that is keeper of secrets

Now I knew your name
I'd heard of your dreadful fame

I'd pursued my own final fate
I had dug my own grave

Even as your eyes warned of my death

I gave myself to you, and pleaded that you lay me to rest.

The perfect murder

The last test.

Now it's impossible to take a breath
I've forgotten how to feel

Watching the world through glassy eyes

From the other side

I knew you were above me
Steel fragility in your ethereal beauty

My mortality must have seemed such a infantile thing

Yet you offered me your ring

But it didn't mean a thing
As a slave will never be fit for a king

Slave indeed to your every whim

In the oceans of blood I began to drown
I forgot to swim

Your complete possession was my downfall
Your obsession my all

I never knew the price I'd pay to love for just a day.

Yet I have to say;

I'd relive every hour every moment

To once again see your face

With all the secrets that you hold

I'll leave you my own

I feared you first
I love you still

I suppose, I always have
And I always will.

Angeli Ramirez

Emotional warfare

Hating loving you
Tearing my soul

Lips trembling
I'm trying to be bold

The brutal reality still to be told

I despise the way your kisses make me weak with need

I hate the fact that I'm always the one on plea

I hate that I can't take my eyes off you
Even though you never notice me

I hate that you choose to ignore the love; the pain I feel

I hate that our moments together are so unreal

I hate the way your voice melts me inside
I hate how I can't stop thinking about you all the time

I hate that you'll never truly be mine

I hate the day I fell for you
So yes, I hate the day we met

I hate that I always let
You have your way

I hate that I always want to stay
Wrapped in your arms
Just inhaling your scent

Though clearly for us it was never meant

Hating loving you
Yet, its all I do.

Angeli Ramirez

Another's heart

Tears burning my eyes
Can't let you go
No matter how hard I try

Tired of wondering why
I see your face in the ocean and in the sky

Closing my eyes tight
No use in putting up a fight
As you've gripped me from somewhere deep inside

Pressure building in my mind
Rage; pain rendering me blind
To the insult your touch has provided

Love and hate together coinciding
Within my heart
Ripping me apart.

Angeli Ramirez

Temptress's delusions

Unfaithful
Gain
Too wild to tame

Corruption's game
Seductions fame

The hidden glances become too plain

In the rain
My body screams your name

I need you endlessly
Wanting you senselessly

My memories of you are lined in gold and silver
Velvet caresses
Across my spine races a delicious shiver

As you're hands move up my sides
My whole soul aches; quivers

My mind is alive
My body is frantic
For this quietly sexy
Bold romantic
Connection we share

Burning skin revealed in icy air

Hardly believing it began with one heated stare
One missed chair
One simple offer too sincere
For a broken heart to ignore

Now I'm restless for more

Waking up beside you when the dawns are gray

Wearing just your tee shirt when your gone all day

Counting every step as you walk away

These are the wishes I make
On every falling star
Wishing us together
Because it hurts to be apart.

Angeli Ramirez

Courting regret

Gazing into the eyes of regret
Faltering breaths
Outline my shaky steps

Understanding I was nothing more than a trophy on your shelf another notch on Promiscuities belt

Every touch every caress a simple lie to get beneath my dress

Still I hold firm your requests
Because you r the one that stutters my heart painfully in my chest

Though these words I'll never share
And you will never notice the love hidden in my stares

Because to you I'm just another pretty face
One more conquered case.

Still walking home in the dewy mornings its you I taste
U fill my senses so completely
Your name written across my heart is impossible to erase

So I'll continue to hide my fears
lie about my tears

And count the moments till u notice how much I care.

Angeli Ramirez

Self-murder

Self destruction

Methodical combustions

Holding the pin on the grenade
That is ending my life
Trying so hard to avoid wrong
Still not doing right

Unnecessary pressure
Inducing this dark weather
Gathering about me
Fog too thick for visibility

A treasured gift
As I'm rapidly growing to prefer social invisibility

Weary of being unsure

I've evolved into something I abhor
Heart, lungs, muscles sore
Eyes even more

Insanity knocking at every door
Offering the deadliest lure

Fighting to stay conscious
Beaten down, I've had enough

Frustrated with blinding lust
Tired of playing tough.

Possession

Is it me?

Or am I possessed

Sometimes I don't recognize the person my mirror reflects

Emptiness fills my chest
As my heart beats steadily beneath my breast

So I take another step
Continuation, the only measure left

Counting every breath
That brings me closer
To the inevitable
Nearer to death

Pushing through this sea of regrets
Hoping to forget

The memories that haunt my soul
The beast that has me captured
Utterly enraptured

Clinging to its world
Caught up in the swirl
Of desperate emotions
That toss and churn
Agony fills my heart
With an infinite burn

For its treachery I yearn
I keep falling
But I do not learn
This pain is not unearned

From this strangers deadly game
I wish to be released
Still I know its mind
I expect defeat

Yet I stand
Unshakable
In the presence, of the monster;
That I am.

Empty lines

Blinking cursor
Blank page

Pain, evading times and age

Tattooed on my soul so many times

The needle has torn through

Scattering into a million pieces of me

Too small to collect

Feeling the sting of sweat
Or maybe tears

Waiting impatiently on the countless fears

Flying forward at the speed of light

But they are strongest at night

When the world goes to bed

They feast on the blood they've shed

Feeding on the agony they bring forth

Obliterating all sense of worth

Soon nothing is as important as stopping the hurt.

Inside, outside... Layered in dust, blood and dirt

With eternity I begin to flirt

Stripped of my dreams
Robbed of all hope.

Runaway heart

You've gone
And left me in the dark

Invisible lines
Too straight to cross

Memory of times past
Ensnared, helplessly
Hopelessly lost.

Not sure what to feel
In this never ending pause

Remembering his song
A sweeping of my dreams
Truth revealed

Longing for caramel toffee
In green fields
Along the dewy grass
Vibrations from a summers stream
I hear it all on a gentle breeze

Lulling my broken heart
Into a deep freeze

Walking by winters brutal shores
A trail of bright red
Across glistening sands

Proof of the tempting feud
That's left me battered, broken , bruised

A parallel in time
Recurring pictures in my mind
As I step into the icy surf
In this tragedy , forgetting
Agony, completely submerged

Thought I was drowning
Lungs straining
Kidneys failing
Then I emerge

Into springs glowing seas
Wave after wave of passion
Over my spirit they cascade

Emotions dancing in a glittering haze

Daintily, precise

I skip by the blade of seduction

Clutching
my heart
For fear , away it will bounce

So potent is your spell on me
Though I notice
You seem to cast you're charms
Unwittingly.

I receive every ounce, shamelessly.

Angeli Ramirez

Falling into fantasy

Beautifully tainted reality

Perfectly painted gravity

I'm absconding from thee

Bubbles of sunshine fill me

On wings of anticipation I flutter lazily
To find the one that my heart seeks

Every obstacle is a daring enemy
Supporting our loves defeat
It's far too late to make any claims
All protocols have been breeched

One look into the stunning eyes
And I floated off my feet
Yellow roses, butterflies
Late nights
Wet goodbyes

Holding on to your every breath, every word

Forget these tears I cannot cry
In one moment, I've seen my every dream
In every lie

Heat bubbles beneath my skin
As these unbidden thoughts slowly unfurl within
They take root
Becoming my kin

Casting glances, can you see the tempest that's hidden??

It rages hard
Emotions become a brutal wind
Filling my sails
As passion pours, stings... Wails
Pounding away at my hearts door
Until I can take no more

Abandoned wishes

Washing up anew on loves shore

Ship wrecked in this sacred place

With nothing to do, but gaze upon my beloveds face.

Hold you in my arms again
I never may

But love I have.
And love I will
For a thousand nights
A thousand days.

Angeli Ramirez